do you ever feel like your just talking to hear yourself talk, to hear someone say it out loud, to just see how ridiculous it all sounds and to realize at that point once its out there that the way it’s heard and the way it’s said are like two different things all together.
I over heard a conversation once and one person was telling the other that when you write someone and they read what you have written they have absolutely no idea really what you are saying, what you mean, how you feel. They are not experiencing the same emotions you did when you wrote it and many times all is lost in translation. I can definitely see how that could be true but at the same time maybe it’s just my reason and imagination that like to pretend that I am completely joined in understanding and interpretation. Communication is a weird thing, maybe actions do speak louder than words, maybe all the words in between are just that…. in between and often in the way, creating confusion and chaos. How many misunderstandings and arguments have erupted over semantics and emotions contained within the “meaning” we individually attribute to each little ridiculous nuance and phrase. Words can be a deadly weapon, we all use them to manipulate, control and even hurt the ones we love. I don’t think there is a soul alive who can’t confess to at least a half dozen twists of the vernacular to achieve their goal, whatever that may be. So the question is…if it’s so fickle and seemingly meaningless how can it be so potent and painful?
I hate the smell of cigarettes but I love the taste….is that an oxymoron? To love the experience but hate the lingering …….that’s probably the quintessential addiction I would say….or maybe its the other way around for some….love the lingering and not necessarily wanting the experience. That brings to mind fear which is a big subject on my plate and from what I have concluded in my short theories on such is that most things can be traced back to the origin of fear.
That is another inebriated blog all together.
becoming quiet paranoid, I seem to be connecting dots to people and places, dates, times, experiences and it is all making too much sense. Starting to wonder if this is the truth or some sort of mind fuck that I have created to make sense of it all, coincidences are a tricky thing and how often does the pattern and sequence all come together just ” coincidentally”. I used to be religious about universal synchronicity but now I am thinking something more mundane that I refused to acknowledge is just being brought to light. Maybe I choose to not see what I didn’t like or want to see and now I am seeing it for all it really is. Regardless it is making me paranoid which I will admit is not hard to do.